My Secret
by CyrusBryn
Summary: What was it about him? Maybe how he always tried to get my attention by flirting with other queens. I like queens, really I do, but there is something about him I can't shake. Was I…gay?
1. Chapter 1

What was it about him? Maybe how he always tried to get my attention by flirting with other queens. I like queens, really I do, but there is something about him I can't shake. Was I…gay?

"Alonzo! Alonzo hurry up we're going to the river!" Lifting my head I saw Munkustrap looking up at me with a huge smile on his face. "Come on,"

Jumping down I met Munkustrap and we took off for the river. The Junkyard had many new things. A part of the fence was taken down and now we have woods we can hunt and play in. And also we have a river in the middle of the forest. We all loved it. Pouncival, Mistoffelees, Tumblebrutus, Admetus, Electra, Etcetera, and Victoria preferred to stay at the Yard playing with the new stuff that came it seemed every day. On the other hand, Munkustrap, I, Plato, Demeter, Bombalurina, Jemima, Tugger, Rumpleteazer, Exotica, and Mungojerrie loved to play at the river.

Running through the woods we met up with Rumpleteazer and Plato. Walking the rest of the way I couldn't help but think Tugger would be there. I knew he would so why do I always get so nervous? He likes queens I like queens. Why worry?

"Hey guys," Mungojerrie greeted as he say us come to the river side. The river was wide and not too deep but not so shallow it was no fun. There was grass all along the river with rocks and a few fallen trees we use as seats.

"Hey Jerrie," Plato greeted him. He went over at sat by Demeter who blushed. Bombalurina gave them each a smile and went back to massaging Tugger's shoulders. I lost my breath as I saw Tugger smiling at me. Why did he make me nervous? I hated not knowing why.

"Hey Lonzo," I turned and saw Cassandra. What was she doing here? "Uh hi Cassandra, what are you doing here?"

"Can't I visit you?" She pressed against me and flicked my nose. I shifted uncomfortably, "Uh…sure…I guess," I didn't like Cassandra, she was pushy and bossy and not my type. Why did she have to flirt with me though, everyone was looking at us and I knew a pair of dreaming blue eyes was dancing with delight.

I got away from Cassandra and noticed that Coricopat was here. She must have of came with him. "Hey Corico, how are you?"

"Fine Alonzo," he stood, "do me favor, stay away from my girl." He pushed past me and I turned and watched him leave, "No problem," I said under my breath. Getting into the river I sighed, the water felt nice against my fur. It was warm out and the temperature of the water was perfect for swimming.

"Mind if I join you?" Bombalurina asked.

"No go ahead," If she was here then where was Tugger? Jumping in she popped up not too far from me. Swimming over to me and gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Something she always did with the toms the queens too if I remember correctly.

"What's new?" She asked.

_(Well nothing really just maybe the fact I might be gay and I don't know what to do.) _"Nothing much,"

Before long all the cats were in the water swimming around and talking. Getting out with not many noticing I went for a walk in the woods. It was peaceful and it felt nice after the amount of swimming I did.

Stopping at the waterfall that was there, which I thought was so cool. We have a river and a waterfall. I sat on the big rock and watched the water fall from the high top. I saw a leaf come down the long fall and get beat around by the forceful water. I watched it and I couldn't help but think I was that leaf; falling down a long and brutal way lost and alone.

"Mind if I join?" I turned at the voice. It was Tugger. (_Oh boy,)_ "Sure," I said softly trying to keep my cool. He sat down next to me and we were quiet for a few minutes watching the water and woods around us.

"What's with you anyway?" he turned and looked at me.

"Nothing, why?" I looked at him.

"You seem to be a little distant. Cassandra was even flirting with you and you didn't even touch her. You feeling alright?"

_(Thanks for your concern,)_ "Yeah I'm fine," _(Liar! You dirty liar!)_

I looked at him for moment hoping he wouldn't be looking at me. He wasn't. I smiled slightly and looked at his features; gorgeous eyes, stunning lips, flawless body, and charming attitude. My smile widen and I caught myself looking down his body. I couldn't help myself, believe I tried.

He turned in my direction and I looked away quickly, "You want to go up there?" I looked at where he was pointing and it was the high top were the water feel. My paws pricked with happiness, "Sure,"

Standing we went up there. The view was completely different. You could see the canopies of the trees and the light blue sky above them. "It's nice,"

"Yeah it is," Tugger said. I walked around me and brushed his tail lightly against the backs of my legs. I knew it wasn't on purpose but it felt so good. My body reacted to the touch and I wanted more. Even though more would not come.

We stayed up here for a while then headed back to the others. At the sun we headed back to Junkyard. I went into my den and slept with a smile on my face. I was smiling like a love sick teenager and I was alright with that.


	2. Chapter 2

*****Opening my eyes I saw black and gold fur. Opening my eyes all the way the black and fur belonged to Tugger. He was laying on me. Trying to sit up I was pushed down by him. He didn't say anything but his presence was breathtaking. He brushed his lips against mine and I groaned in pleasure. I wanted more and I wanted it now.*****

Opening my eyes again for the second time that morning I realized it was a dream. Stupid hot dreams. Settling my fur and wiping the ridiculous grin off my face I went out the Square. I was greeted right away by a face full of dirt. Hearing giggles and laughter I knew who the two were that were still sitting on me. "Admetus Electra will you get off me,"

"Sorry Lonzo buddy we got carried away. I can't help myself sometimes you know?"

"Whatever just get off," twisting I was now on my back. Admetus was off but Electra was still sitting squarely on my chest. She had a childish grin on her face. Getting up she went to Admetus and tackled him to the ground. At least they were off me.

Picking myself up I walked around to the kill pile. Picking a mouse I went over to my favorite spot and to my surprise Tugger was there. Getting up to car hood he spoke, "Hope you don't mind, I had to get away from Cettie and Victoria. Those two don't know when to lay off."

Sitting down by him my tail curled up at my side, "You get tired of queen company?" I took a bite of the mouse I choose.

"Yes actually I do. Sometimes I wish I could just hang with my guy friends and talk and not have to worry about two drooling princesses following me,"

We continued in eat in silence. It was nice but I wanted to talk to him. I wanted to talk to him about my dream. Finishing my mouse I prepped myself, "…Tugger?"

He turned and looked at me, "Yeah?"

"Can I talk to you?"

"Sure,"

"It's about something serious. Something that I don't know what to do about it,"

He threw his mouse over the fence and did the same to mine, "Hope you were finished,"

"I was," I smiled as his look went from concern to happiness.

We looked at each other for a brief moment then Tugger looked to the left slightly, "What was it you wanted to talk about?"

"I wanted to talk to you about…a dream I had…"

"Alright, what happened?"

"Well you see," I couldn't continue for Etcetera and Victoria found him. They cuddled against his sides and nuzzled his sides. He looked happy but distant to me. "What about your dream Alonzo?"

"Yeah what about your dream?" Etcetera said nuzzling her nose against Tugger's neck. Like I was going tell him now, "It's nothing important really," I stood and walked away. Tugger stood and yelled, "Alonzo!" At his yelling I ran into the woods.

"What's with him?" Victoria asked, "I've never seen him so…dull,"

"Maybe he has to go," Etcetera said not liking the fact Tugger had stood up. Tugger didn't answer their questions. He watched where I went. Leaping down off the car Victoria and Etcetera stood. He turned quickly to them, "No, you two stay here," he turned back and continued to follow me.

Getting to the waterfall I sat on the rock before my legs gave out, I cried. There was no point in crying, hell there was no point at all. I couldn't tell Tugger and that was that. I would just have to suffer the rest of my life. Feeling a paw on my shoulder I turned, "Tugger!" I stood and backed away.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I wiped away tears. He followed my steps as I backed up. Before I knew it I had my back against the rocky side of the hill. Tugger continued to walk at me he stopped a foot from me. "What's wrong?" he asked sounding more demanding than before.

"Nothing really I just wanted to get away from your stalkers," I tried to get away but Tugger put both his paws against the rock. I was trapped between the rock and the most amazing tom in the world to bad I didn't feel like seeing him.

"Tugger please I'm fine,"

"No you're not. What about your dream?"

"Wh-what?" The tears were flowing down my face.

"Tell me about your dream. Start to finish,"

"N-no I can't,"

"Why not?"

"Because,"

"Because isn't an answer Alonzo now tell me,"

I wanted to curl up and die at this point. I was embarrassed that I was crying in front of him not only that, I was burning with pleasure from his closeness. I had to make up my mind. Tell him and see what happens or lie and forget about him.

Looking into his eyes I knew my answer, "In my dream you were there and I was there. We were in my den and you were sitting on me. I tried to sit up but I couldn't, you kept me down…the-th-then you brushed your lips against mine."

My words were mixed with tears and stuttering that he had to guess some words, but he got most of it, "What?"

I couldn't look at him anymore, "I'm sorry," I stood there crying not even trying to get away. I didn't have any more energy. Tugger's paws hadn't moved and I was wondering if I ruined our friendship. Sniffing I looked at him, he was tearing.

"T-Tu-Tugger," I sniffed. His eyes met mine. He pushed against me and met my lips with a powerful and deep kiss. He literally knocked the wind out of me. He was pressed against me so close I could barely think straight.

He pulled away and cupped my face in his paws, "Alonzo, I was wondering when you were going to tell me,"

_(He knew? How could he know? I was hiding it so well, up until the last couple of months that is,) _"How did you know?"

"Bomba told me, she knows those things. She's happy for you, she's happy for me," he lifted my chin so I was looking at him, "she's happy for us," kissing me one more time as deep as before I wrapped my arms around his neck not letting him go. He snaked his arms around me as well.

"What are guys doing?"

Pulling apart from each other we saw Cassandra standing there looking dazed and sick, "Cassandra, what are you doing here?"

"I might ask you the same question," She crossed her arms against her chest. I looked at Tugger who was still looking at her. I was getting scared. Cassandra had a big mouth she'd tell everyone at the Yard.

"What we're doing is none of your concern," Tugger spat. I looked at him with scared eyes. You never challenge Cassandra.

She walked to us and I wanted to run so badly, "If you think I'm going to let you two get away with this you are sadly mistaken. You know how Old Deuteronomy feels about gays,"

"My father will understand. He loves me and wants what's best for me,"

"And you think Alonzo is best for you?" She said looking up and down my body.

He looked at me, "Yes, I do,"

She shook her head, "You both are sick and twisted!" She turned and started to walk away, "Cassandra wait!" I yelled. She stopped and I went to her, "Please don't say anything to anyone,"

"And why not?"

"Because, Tugger and I are-"

"Are what? In love?"

I paused a moment, "I am," I said softly, "I don't like you Cassandra and I don't want you. I want Tugger and he knows it."

She looked offended, "I'm telling Old Deuteronomy,"

I grabbed her arm before she was able to get to far, "Please don't,"

"And give me one good reason why I shouldn't,"

I looked at her then at the ground. My paw still holding her arm, "I'll do anything, please don't tell,"

A smile crossed her face, "Anything you say?" _(oh no bad choice of words,)_ "Okay, you and me, tonight. No second changes," she pulled her arm out of my grip and walked back to the Junkyard.

I was shaking. _(What have I done?)_ "What have I done?" Tugger came up behind me, "I would have of done the same thing,"

"Tugger I have to sleep with her! I don't even like her! How can I sleep with her if I don't even like her?"

He pulled me against his chest, "Shh if you're worried about what might happen then I say you do it and then you don't have to worry about it."

"What?"

"Sleep with me," He whispered in my ear.

My eyes blew up and I turned and looked at him, "Now? It's noon and everyone's awake,"

"Then we do it away from the Junkyard," he grabbed my paw and lead to a small cave that I hadn't seen before now. Entering I saw it was already decorated with pillows blankets and some miscellaneous things. I saw a picture of Tugger and me on the wall, "What's that?"

He went over to it, "Oh that," he took it off the wall, "this is the picture from last year's ball. When you and I danced with Bombalurina and Demeter for the introduction," he studied it, "You looked so hot, don't you remember, I asked you if I could get a picture with you?"

I smiled, "Yeah I remember," He put it back on the wall.

"Why do you have two dens?"

"One for the Junkyard and one in case I wanted to get away or be with that special someone. Come here and sit down,"

We were lying facing each other one of my legs draped over his thigh. We kissed like hormonal teenagers; our paws wondered each other's bodies. "I love you," Tugger said through a kiss. I pulled away, "I love you so, so much," I whispered in his ear.

Tugger ran his paws up my back causing me to explode in pleasure. I bit down his neck as he got on top of me. Running his paws down my chest and lower it caused me to shiver and say his name uncontrollably. Kissing me to shut me up my paws raced up his chest. Resting on his shoulders. While he was kissing me his tongue gently thumped against my teeth asking for entrance. Opening my mouth fully our tongues found each other's and they massaged the other.

I was at the point of dying in pleasure and Tugger was at that point as well. Tugger ended the kiss causing me to groan in disappointment. He placed many open mouth kisses on my body. Each one getting lower and lower.

Suddenly I gasped and sat up. Tugger looked at me, "What's wrong? Did I hurt you?"

"No," I replied honestly, "I didn't think you'd do that is all,"

"I thought you'd like it," Tugger said scratching his neck.

"I did," he looked at me with those gorgeous blue eyes, "Could you do it again?" I asked.

"Of course," he smiled.

I laid back down and let Tugger continue to pleasure me. I could feel my arousal and I knew Tugger was there as well. Coming back up me, he laid down on me and began to kiss and thrust. I gasped as the new touch grew longer and more intense.

I needed him. I wanted him. I wanted to show how much he meant to me. Rolling out from under him and pinned him on the pillows. Kissing him hard and fierce I soon lowered my kisses to where his mouth was not a minute ago. Hearing him moan and feeling his paws on my shoulders I knew we were meant for each other. I was so happy I could barely contain it. Then, it hit me, why contain it?

Leaping up at him my hips thrust against his. Both of us were moaning and touching each other. Tugger managed to say something that made me go even longer and harder, "Alonzo…love you so much…do it…harder…"

Tugger sat up wrapped his arms around me and pushed me onto my back and began to thrust me. I was able to say some words of encouragement and Tugger loved me with all his strength. Before either of us knew it the moment was over and we were asleep in each other's arms.


	3. Chapter 3

Opening my eyes I saw the picture on the wall and smiled. My smile faded quickly and I rose to my feet, "Oh shit!" I yelled.

"I wasn't that bad," Tugger moaned as he woke up.

"No Tugger, Cassandra! I was supposed to meet her last night and I blew it!"

Tugger stood and grabbed my shoulders, "Alonzo calm down, after last night, there is nothing in this world we can't handle,"

"Tugger, she's going to tell,"

Tugger pulled me to a deep and wet kiss. It felt good to feel his tongue in my mouth again but I was more worried about Cassandra. Pulling away I raced out of the entrance. Tugger ran after me.

Heading into the Square we were met by the multiple eyes of many cats all looking shocked. My eyes traveled to Cassandra who was smirking. I started to get every nervous. Tugger on the other hand didn't look scared or nervous. His eyes were locked onto his father's.

"Tugger…" Old Deuteronomy said softly.

"Father before you say anything I want you to know that Alonzo and I are happy together," he grabbed with my paw and walked towards his father, "In fact we're perfectly happy together. We love each other. And you know what else? Cassandra blackmailed Alonzo to sleep with her so she'd keep her mouth shut. But I wanted to have Alonzo before her so I made him stay away from her,"

"Tugger you know that it's not welcome here,"

"And why not?" He challenged his father.

Old Deuteronomy spoke after looking at each cat. Munkustrap was looking at Alonzo and then his glaze went to Plato. Old Deuteronomy studied Munkustrap then saw Plato return the look. Old Deuteronomy couldn't deny the fact that his son was happier with a tom than a queen. And now his other son, his youngest son was looking at Plato with eyes of love and wanting. He didn't want to say no.

"Father?" Old Deuteronomy turned to dace Munkustrap. Who was over by Plato. His arm wrapped around Plato's waist, "Father, if you're going to punish Tugger you might as well punish me as well,"

"Munkustrap?" Cassandra asked.

"Cassandra," Munkustrap went to her, "I want you to leave. You have caused nothing but trouble for all us lovers. Who cared if we're the same sex? We're happy together and that should enough for everyone who cares about us,"

Old Deuteronomy sighed then spoke, "Munkustrap, Tugger? Both of you are happy with the toms you have chosen?"

"Yes father we are," Tugger said.

He paused and looked at everyone, "Than I see no point in arguing with you two."

"Does that mean?"

"Yes Tugger, I am granting you permission to see Alonzo. And Plato for you Munkustrap," Plato and Munksutrap kissed as did Tugger and I.

I heard Etcetera and Victoria crying with sorrow and disbelief.

I smiled against Tugger's lips. The Tugger, was mine.


End file.
